(“Unconditional love miraculously appears as you learn to unconditionally love and accept yourself.” Quote and gratitude by Lauren Heistad. Art and unconditional love by my sweet mom, Lana.)

The hardest person you will ever love unconditionally is yourself. You can send streams of love, support, and compassion to others in your life, but until you learn to wholeheartedly love yourself for who you are and how you showed up in this life, you may constantly feel like the world is working against you. You will even unknowingly help the universe by anchoring your own thoughts of unworthiness or self-inflicted judgement into the ethers, which of course will return to you everywhere you look. On the other hand, if you can see the beauty in your own path, remove the judgement and criticism you constantly dish out to yourself, and stop second rating your own experiences or life choices, you will begin to notice beautiful changes arriving in your world. In those moments of self-surrender you will feel unconditional love streaming towards you in all directions, most importantly those emanating from you.

I have spent my entire life loving others unconditionally. That is not my ego talking, that is just a fact. No matter how anyone showed up, how they acted towards myself or others, how they projected their own agendas or how selfish they may have acted, I have always seen their light and defended their actions indisputably. I have always seen their inner beauty reflecting out into the world, even when that beauty was dimmed by either circumstance, behaviors or ironically their own fears and insecurities which they often project outwardly in a cruel or selfish fashion. Shockingly, I have found that most of us find it easier to see the beauty in all others instead of within. It is so much easier to value their actions, behaviors or life path choices then to look at your own reflection in the mirror and learn to see, exhibit and honor the inner and outer beauty you yourself hold.

I have been working really hard on that. It has not been easy to love the spiritual path I have been experiencing nor has it been easy to start standing in what I know, but here it goes. There is a balance point we all need to strive to achieve. We must love ourselves and all others unconditionally. We must treat each other the way we ourselves wish to be treated. We must find the balance point between the selfishness of the “I” mentality and the other extreme of loving all others more than we actually love ourselves. Unfortunately, many in this world fall into the first category. The healers, humanitarians and heart-centred folks often fall into the second extreme. Both categories are slightly off balance. The balance point is at the “we” mentality. The balance point is when we value our own self-worth while valuing all others.

You and I both know the world needs to change. In a million years, I would have never expected I would be called to help make that change happen. Yet here I am, living out prophecy and learning to love myself despite my own circumstances, self doubt or insecurities. I am working very hard despite my own fears, to see my inner beauty, no more or no less then I would extend that love unconditionally to you.

When you begin to love yourself unconditionally, there are a few things that begin to unfold. First of all, the people in your life who actually loved you by condition start to fade away. In learning to love yourself unconditionally, you have to let these events unfold. You can send them love from a distance, but until each of you has arrived at the balance point of the “we” mentality, do yourself a favor and love yourself enough to honor the distance provided. Stay focused on the heart-centred balance and compassion you wish to emanate. Eventually, they will do the same.

Secondly, those who have always loved you despite the conditions start standing by your side more sure-footed in all that you do. Regardless of whether they understand your life journey or not, they will be there for you, no questions asked, no hidden agendas present. Why? Usually because you have first extended the same gesture of kindness, compassion, and unconditional love towards them.

Thirdly, you will start to release all concerns of how others perceive you or what they project your way, whether that is conditional love, unconditional love, or even no love at all, but rather fear, hate or judgement. Not that you can’t love them all unconditionally and hope everyone eventually finds that balance point, but because you love yourself enough to stay true to your heart, regardless of what others are projecting your way.

I plan to always love people unconditionally. In all honesty, I don’t think I know how to do it any other way. The interesting thing is that I have finally learned to add in one condition for myself: if your love towards me is conditional or non-existent, then I will love myself enough to let you slowly move out of my life. Not because I am better then you, but because I love myself enough to let you go.

I suggest you do the same. Start looking in the mirror and finding that space of inner and outer balance, which for many of us starts with unconditionally loving ourselves. For those of you who traditionally only love or care about yourself, I suggest you also look at your reflection, find the balance point, and realize which perspective is truly the fairest of them all. God speed.

Namaste,

Lauren Heistad