I have personal doubts all the time. Not about my work. Not about my goals. Not about my connection to spirit. My doubts are self-construed insecurities about myself. I think we are all very active participants in this perpetual loop of self-inflicted judgements. For example: many of us see the beauty in others before we see it in ourselves. Many see the potential in others before we give ourselves credit or merit for what we know and have experienced. Oftentimes, we even tend to believe in someone else’s path or perceived magnitude well before we ever put an ounce of trust into our own journey and impact.

Well to be quite honest, I have grown tired of that merry-go-round. I am tired of watching how so many people have so little confidence in their own journey. It makes me sad to see how little we trust our own choices, decisions, experiences, significance, and abilities. And on a more personal note, I am tired of how I and others have perceived my own unique path. I have struggled with my worthiness to speak my truth, and have reached my crossroads of learning to finally have faith in the things I have always known.

In learning to combat this self-induced defaming of myself, I started to write down my life’s work. In truth, I am kind of like the “50 First Dates” gal who needs to remind myself each and everyday of who I am, why I am here, and the soulful life that is very real and very quickly unraveling before me. Otherwise, my truths fade into fears and the light within me starts to cloud with inner doubts yet again.

I have actually spent quite a bit of time in the last while charting my life on a timeline, based on journal entries and large events that have shaped my entire existence. I encourage everyone to give this soulful activity of self-reflection a try. What I discovered was both startling and empowering in so many ways. Over time, even though I have continued to doubt myself, have regularly handed my soul potential over to others, or perpetually belittled my own connection to spirit, when looking at the actual evidence behind those self inflicted judgements, the personal growth, inner knowing, and historical evidence is still there. I have still managed to rise. I have still managed to evolve. I have still managed to keep one foot in front of the other and move my life’s work forward. I have still managed to trust my own intuition and guidance over what others have directed towards me (myself included no doubt). Even during the times when I believed I was making little to no progress and with confidence issues continuing to surface, overtime the changes are shockingly profound. I have become stronger. My faith is unwavering. And I guarantee you, my life’s journey is second to none (although please remember, so is yours).

In truth, I am starting to see the benefit of my doubt. After all, never doubting oneself would signify an over-inflated ego instead of the heart-centred inner work required for personal transformation and enlightenment. It is within those moments of inner reflection that we find our foothold and keep ourselves moving towards the light. It is within those darkest days that our convictions and determination materialize. One by one, we knock our fears to the ground and rise from the ashes. And then one magical day, we even see and appreciate the entire scope of our own SOULworks and learn to honor the path we have journeyed, truly giving ourselves the full benefit of the doubt. I AM HERE.

It is time for truths to unfold. Truths behind my own story but more importantly the truths behind the divine greatness held within all peoples. It is time to Rise. I challenge you to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and rise with me. You will transform.

Namaste,

Lauren Heistad