Only a few of my closest friends would ever realize how much I struggle with the arrival of Easter weekend. Over the years, I have had many emotional reactions and breakdowns from this particular holiday and have tried utilizing many different approaches and techniques to personally broach and heal from the topic at hand. I have spent many years trying to find peace with this globally recognized holiday, utilized the stat as an opportunity to simply share time with loved ones, powered straight through like it was just a regular workday, or more often then not, used the time in solitude struggling with how to calm my mind from the incoming upheaval and energetic overload rising to the surface originally buried deep within my heart and soul.
Of course I recognize how much this holiday means to many and I truly don’t like to disrespect others’ rights to their own faith and belief systems. I realize that for many, the Easter story restores faith in better things yet to come and am keenly aware of how many around the globe feel emotionally connected to the significance behind this particular biblical story. However to me, I always find myself caught between wanting people to find and experience such a high degree of faith and courage in this divine appointment of time while also finding my own authentic voice and perspectives rising to the surface.
And then there are the more logical parts of my brain that cautiously considers how continuing to be so vocal has the potential to negatively effect my family and business over time. Because to be honest, even on my more milder rants and messages written within my books and blog posts, I have lost many customers along the way as they read through my experiences and then quietly stopped coming by or hit the unsubscribe button, more content to stay within the comfort zones of their own understandings. This very obvious reaction to the words and teachings I express gives me the undeniable urge to stop moving forward with my own SOULworks. When in that place of inner turmoil, the resistance I experience makes me review both my life path and my messages over and over and over again, secretly hoping that one day I will let go of the need to be so damn vocal.
If I were to be brutally honest however, I consider myself to be a teacher and messenger of change first and foremost no matter what that means to the bottom line of my business venture or the number of brave souls that have the heart and courage to hear my words. When reviewing my lifetimes of spiritual encounters, it is very clear to me that I have always been an advocate for change, have always been propelled to step in and make a difference, and will never stop encouraging people to see our own individual and collective potential from a more expansive and inclusive perspective. In truth, much of my time is also spent helping both my family and myself surrender to and accept my life path as it unfolds. It has not been an easy journey, with much uncertainty, financial overload, and faith needed to continue forward. If I were to further identify my personal goals for SOULworks, it might even shock you to know that last on my list would be the business end of things with the products and services I provide. In other words, although I deeply value my customers and clientele greatly and appreciate my beautiful place of work absolutely every single day, I did not start SOULworks as a business venture. I started it as a voice and inner sanctuary to my own truth and story.
And the truth is I will never consider it Good, on any day of the week let alone a Friday, to celebrate the life of a lightworker being cut short by the actions and reactions of those who simply fear change and the unknown. I will never put all my faith and belief in one person’s ability to change the world, and instead pledge to do my individual part in creating a more peaceful existence starting from within. I would never expect someone to shed their own blood or carry the load for my personal transgressions, and instead will always stand accountable for my own wrong doings or misguided actions. And most importantly, no matter what predominate beliefs exist in this world, I will never unsubscribe to my own understandings nor will I stay silent so as not to ripple the status quo or protect the bottom line of my business venture. I would much rather stay true to my own personal experiences and lose the shirt off my back then to silence my own personal integrity or voice along the way.
Which brings me to this very moment in time. For today might just be the very first Good Friday I have ever experienced as of yet. I am celebrating 8 years since opening my SOULworks to the public; 10 years since having started to express my truth, share my story, and stay authentic to my own voice and experiences; and in reality entire lifetimes of learning how to surrender to my own life path and soul potential. Within those celebrations I have come to the conclusion that surrendering to your life path is not an act of giving up, it is an inner understanding that involves making peace with and fully standing within your own SOULworks regardless of where, when or how others also choose to stand.
Love and Blessings Always,
Acknowledgements: Photograph was taken of an original artwork commissioned and gifted to me by my dear friend Brenda Dutertre and created by the very talented Canadian artist Michelle Lake. This beautiful piece hangs on display at SOULworks.